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Ben and Amy’s Wedding

I’ve had some requests for photos of Ben and Amy’s wedding. I’m not sure how Steve use to connect to his photo album so here a just few photos which I’ve been able to insert onto the page.

The wedding was wonderful and I was so happy to have been able to be there. The weather could not have been more perfect. The ceremony was moving, emotional and joyful. The bride was so beautiful and the groom actually looked smart. The reception was certainly lively and great fun. Steve would have loved it.

So here some highlights of the day. The cake was made by the bridesmaid with the short black dress.

I’m wearing a Burmese costume which my Burmese mother use wear for special occasions.

A Celebration of Steve’s Life

Dear family, friends, cruisers and blog readers.
Thank you so much for all your many messages and kind words to me. It has been quite overwhelming but a real comfort too. I have always know what an amazing man Steve was but to know that so many of you felt the same was wonderful.

Today Steve will be cremated. There will be no viewing, service or ceremony today as requested by him. We will just collect his ashes. Steve’s wish was to have a really good celebration of his life and a memorial party. I have penciled this in for 28th September 2013.

My wish is to hold the celebration in the new house which Steve was so looking forward to moving into. I will be completing and moving into the new house on 12th September. This will give me time to plan and arrange something special. With barely any furniture in the house I’m hoping there will be enough room for everyone. If anyone would like to send a short reminiscent, tribute, message or photos for the ceremony please email it to I would like to make some sort of display for the day.

Tomorrow I fly to America for our son Ben and Amy’s wedding which is this coming Saturday. After the sadness of this week I am looking forward to this very happy occasion. I am planning to take some of Steve’s ashes and scatter it in New York harbour. We learnt to sail there and Steve loved sailing past the wonderful NY cityscape and typical of him, dealing with all the challenges of sailing in such a busy harbour.

A week after the wedding, my son John is flying to Australia to visit with Ella and my granddaughter Bao. John plans to take some of Steve’s ashes too. He will have a small celebration there and scatter the ashes in the Brisbane bay area where Steve and I had our last sail on Dignity. Steve would love the fact that he’s still travelling around the world.

Not long ago, Steve renewed the subscription to this blog for another two years. Therefore this site will stay open for at least this time so that people can read Steve’s words and share in the adventure we had together.

After the celebration of Steve’s life, I will write one more blog. A tribute to my very very very much loved and wonderful husband.

Sailing away with Dignity

This is so hard to write. My wonderful Steve died this afternoon.

Everything happened so fast. The day after I wrote the last blog, Steve’s high temperature continued to worsen. He started becoming more confused and losing his coordination. Each day he dramatically worsen. Yesterday morning when I arrived at the hospital, Steve was barely conscious and Professor Linch was waiting to talk to me. He basically said that none of the treatment Steve was on was working and he felt it best to withdraw all treatment and make him as comfortable a possible. I knew then that Steve had lost his fight with lymphoma.

I reluctantly called our son Ben in New York who immediately booked a flight for himself, his fiancee Amy and his brother Sam (who had only just arrived in the States from Australia the previous day).

I spent the night with Steve who stayed comfortable and sleeping peacefully. I asked him many times to hang on as Ben and Sam were on their way to see him. The nurses were great, looking after him with care and always maintaining his dignity.

Ben, Amy and Sam arrived at the hospital soon after 10 am this morning and with their older brother John, were able to spend the last two hours with their Dad before he died. I am sure Steve hung on to have this time with his boys and me before he sailed away from this life.

We are all devastated.

Memory Update

Sorry I haven’t updated recently. I’ve been waiting for Steve to show some real improvement with his memory issues but unfortunately there hasn’t been any real change in that area.

There has been improvement with his general health though. One positive result of his memory loss is that he’s forgotten how much he dislikes hospital food and is eating well. He has finally gained weight and is doing gentle exercise to gain strength too.

The main concern at the moment is Steve immune system. He is struggling to generate enough white cells and platelets. Last week he started developing temperature spikes which is a sign of infection. An MRI taken showed inflammations in Steve’s brain, especially around where short term memory is thought to be processed. So he is back on strong antibiotics and antivirals.
To help the immune system and memory issues, Professor Linch has started Steve on Interferon. There are risks with this treatment but the benefits outweigh the risks if it works. Steve had his first dose the other day so we wait to see how he responds.

As for me, I still commute in everyday to spend the day at the hospital with Steve. We get regular visits from family and friends and a few times I’ve met up with old friends for lunch or a drink. Sometimes I take a break for an hour or two and visit some of the many museums, libraries, and shops nearby. That’s one advantage of being in the center of London.

I’m also kept busy with quite a lot of paperwork, fortunately Steve is so well organized that I’ve been able to take over quite easily. The purchase of our house in Chorleywood is going smoothly. We’re expecting to exchange contract next week and close end of August/early September. As many can imagine I spend many hours planning and scheming how to decorate and furnish the house. I’m very much looking forward to having a home again.

Thank you everyone for your continued support and words of encouragement. They certainly help to keep me strong.

Memory Loss

Steve had a seizure/fit last Sunday at home. I called emergency and he was taken by ambulance to Stoke Mandeville our local A&E hospital. He stabilized quickly but was left confused and appeared to have no memory of recent events. Stoke Mandeville hospital kept him overnight and then transfer him back to University College Hospital in London once they had talked to Steve’s doctor there.

Since then Steve has no memory of the past year and vague memories of the previous year or so. He often thinks that what happen a couple of years ago happened yesterday. Neither can he retain short term memory. Everyday is a new day to him. We have to repeat where he is, why he’s in hospital, his time and treatment in Australia, our sale of Dignity, our return to England etc. every day. Often what we tell him in the morning is forgotten by the afternoon. After four days of repeating the same facts, I have written down the events of the last year so that Steve can read it over and over again.

Many checks have been performed to work out why Steve had his seizure and memory loss.
The results of the MRI showed no difference between the scan from before and after his seizure. This is good news as there are no noticeable damage to his brain and no sign that his lymphoma is increasing and causing the problem..

The neurologist did a whole load of tests. All physical reactions and reflexes were good. Steve was able to read fluently, respond articulately, name all pictures of objects and famous people shown and do numerical recalls extremely well. He has complete memory of his birth date, place of birth, our children’s birthdays, our anniversary date, all the things that he’s known for many years. He just does not have recent memories.

The neurologist is incline to think that the seizure and memory loss are caused by an infection. So specific test are being made for brain infections. We should get some results by Monday. Steve also had some EEG done on his brain mainly to check that he not having mini stroke. If Steve has a brain infection than the doctors are pretty confident that once treated, most of his memory will come back.

Steve is still very much himself although I think he is more cheerful, optimistic, mellower and funnier. He said it’s probably because he can’t remember his worries, although not remembering is a bit of a worry!

For me it’s been pretty distressing but I’m beginning to come to terms with this new complication. So for the moment I’m making the most this funnier and sweeter Steve while it lasts.