I’ve often thought about why these relationships are so different and as ever I have come up with a number of factors :

There is a phrase ‘Your friends are not the people you like the most, they are simply the ones that got their first.‘  It is an interesting observation and it sort of applies to land life.  I don’t think I was ever concious of this while on land but I believe we had developed behaviours which recognised this.  Particularly considering how busy we all are on land, we develop this whole layered approach to relationship forming because once let into our personal space it’s difficult (and often simply not desirable) to let go of people.  This is very much driven by the fact that our neighbours at home stay where they are, the people at work are usually there the next day as are the folks in our clubs, groups, etc.

While cruising it is the exact opposite.  You may never meet your current neighbour again.  There is therefore very little downside in opening up with folks you meet.

I discovered the ‘social layers’ we acquired on land made us all less interesting as well as less approachable.  Stripped of these layers you really find out about each other quite quickly and discover and develop friendships that may never have been previously possible.

Then there’s the people you meet. Anyone who chooses to set off across the seas with nothing between them and the depths bar a thin piece of wood, plastic, metal or perhaps banana leaf is going to be a little different from the typical person you get to know ashore. I’ve often felt we all have something extra going on as well as something missing. Some of the younger folks who crossed the Pacific on a shoestring have an incredible spirit. The ‘retirees’ have all lead fascinating lives to reach the point where cruising is possible. The ‘kid boats’, ie those with home schooled children aboard, are simply amazing. It goes on. We are all ‘missing’ something that holds us to one spot which allows us to face the challenges of adventure. To a certain extent this is true of anyone you meet in life but these qualities are often harder to reveal in those ‘stuck’ ashore.

Then of course there is the shared experience. We are all out there facing the elements, the thrills, the challenges, the fears together. We help each other out. We support each other. We share notes on where we’ve been and where we’re going. We have our sundowners. We share the moments we have together.

The cruising life allows you to get very close to a lot of people. You develop friendships that are incredibly special.

All of the above became amplified during our Pacific crossing. Perhaps, by then, we had matured as cruisers. A lot of it, I think, is that those mad enough to cross the Pacific are a special subset of a special subset of people.

I have meant to share my thoughts on this for some time but I’m doing this now for two reasons. The first is we got back in touch with our friends John and Cheryl on Sea Mist yesterday having been out of contact with each other, really, since we saw them sail over the horizon out of Fiji last year. We had a long Skype call which was really quite emotional. I confess I broke down when the call ended.

I’m not singling them out as such but it is an real example of the type of friendships that form in these circumstances. We’re so glad to be back in touch.

The second reason is that while all of the above is true for me, I am aware that cruising is not the only way to form such close bonds with people. As our life’s adventure now moves into uncharted (for us) seas we are discovering much the same in this new phase of our adventure. Our stay here in Melbourne has resulted in a very close bond with the family here. We’ve shared a common passage, supported each other (in this case, Helen and I have received most of the support) and, yes, we’ve had our sundowners.

Having made such close friends it’s therefore important to stay in touch and that we endeavour to do.

And this brings me back to another reason for bringing all this out now. The poll I put out yesterday is so far unanimous and I am surprised by the number of votes (25 votes is not a lot compared to other polls but it’s more than I expected – keep voting) and touched by the comments. It reminds me how important the blog is to all these close friends but also for the unseen travellers coming along with us. It is touching to know that our story is seen as a single adventure than just a trip on a boat and that folks out there who we’ve never met (yet to meet?) care.

So rest assured I will keep this blog going and not move off elsewhere. I’ll be using the blog, at least, to stay in touch with you all. Changing the name is an idea I am considering. The boat name Dignity came from the song of the same name which at one level, as I’ve explained before, talks about working hard to accomplish a sailing dream. At another level it’s about living your life with dignity which is now particularly apt. So I won’t be changing the name much, if at all. I need to think about this.

I will say that if you google “Dignity” you will find a bunch of websites about dying with dignity. As I have no intention of dying just yet, that connection is not relevant.

Where we can we’ll endeavour to stay in touch more personally. Next weekend we’re off to see our friends Brian & Janine and their ‘kids’ Ben and Holly over the other side of Melbourne. We shared a couple of special weeks with them all aboard Dignity and they’ve been supporting us with the loan of their car. We’re very much looking forward to sharing an anchorage with them again for a few days.

In the afternoon I filled the dinghy fuel tank and went to pick up the plate. My design was deliberately overkill as the cost and pain of fixing the wooden step, should it break, would be far greater than this fix. I needed to screw 30 screws in from under the step. Each screw would need a hole to be drilled from underneath. Without being able to remove the step this was looking to be a pain to do. I’d bumped into John from Sea Mist at the fuel counter. He didn’t have a tool that would help. On the way back with my new plate and screws I stopped by Leu Cat to see if they had any tools to help. They did were happy to lend the tool. I hadn’t held out much hope but it sure pays to ask.

Back on the boat I fixed the plate. Now the step feels firm and we can remove the books to protect it.

After returning the tool to Leu Cat we made arrangements with them and with the Sea Misters for a another last meal out together tonight.

Apart from a brief stop to replace a flat tire we made it to Lautoka in good time. We’d asked to be dropped off at the customs office and be picked up in town later on. It turned out we needed to be in the customs office at the wharf (obvious really) rather than the one in town so we walked the approx mile between the two. We’d been advised by many to tell them our boat was nearby when asked where it was. I find it difficult to tell a bold lie so when it came down to it I said we were in Denaru. No problem. Soon we were out with coastal clearance for just about everywhere around here so we’re sorted on that front.

Next stop was immigration to extend our visas. It turned out it was in the unmarked building next to the first customs office we’d been to. So we walked back. It took a while and few Fiji dollars to get our extension. They required proof of our ability to sustain ourselves while here. In the end they were satisfied by taking copies of our credit cards and conceding on the need for copies of statements.

So now, unless we decide to go back to Suva or something like that, we have no more paperwork to do until we leave Fiji.

Next we walked around town. I bought a couple of shirts. The experience was a lot more pleasant than in Nadi where the shop keepers campaign heavily for your custom as you walk down the street. In Lautoka there was none of that. On the downside, the supermarkets with international produce were fewer and less well stocked than Nadi.

By the time we’d eaten lunch we were already a little late for our rendezvous. We didn’t lose our taxi as we’d bumped into him a couple of times already. We picked up a few more provisions before heading back to Denaru and the boat.

We didn’t do a great deal more in the afternoon. John from Sea Mist popped by having just arrived in the anchorage. He’d been invited to the evening out with the Leu Cats. That was great as this may be our last opportunity to see them for a while at best, if ever at worst.

The evening went well. We met up at Lulu’s having a round of cocktails together followed by dinner at Indigo’s – an Indian Restaurant – where we briefly bumped into the Jaranas who were just leaving. The evening was excellent and somehow we managed to stay out quite late, at least for us.

At the dinghy dock we said our emotional Au Revoirs. It’s never goodbye as one never knows how or when we’ll meet up again.

The answer to that is probably here and today as the weather has turned out crap and looks to stay that way today and tomorrow. We’re not moving on and when we do it looks like it’s out west.

Back at the boat Siwa was booked to take the Ossos, Jacksters and John&Stuart (Sea Mist/Imagine) on a dive west of the island. We got ourselves in on the dive. It was a bit far, we weren’t prepared and we also had plans to move west so we killed three birds with one stone and took Dignity around to the west side of the island while we prepared the dive gear.

The other boats followed a short while later meeting up where we anchored. By then we were all ready. Helen stayed behind, Anne went aboard Osso’s large runabout and John and I followed in our dinghy. The surface waters by the dive were very choppy but down below the visibility was excellent as was the dive. The area was all canyons with lots of swim throughs. Siwa did a very good job as a dive master. I know the Jacksters and Ossos who have done quite a few trips with him have been equally pleased. We thoroughly recommend him. If you’re researching for your trip, look up Siwa in the village of Naqara in Ono. According to our dive nut buddies this area exceeds the more famous rainbow reef at the east end of Vanua Levu so we do recommend this.

Once back from the dive we washed down our gear, showered then at lunch. Straight after we set off. We were soon under sail with two lines out. Anne had chosen the lure for the fishing rod which I had prepared a few days previously. Half way to our destination the reel sang. We soon had the head sail in to reduce boat speed and John pulled in the handline to avoid a snarl up. We knew we had a mahi mahi early on as it had a lot of spirit and leapt out of the water a couple of times. I gave Anne the job of bringing the fish in. We didn’t lose it and soon had it aboard. It weighed in at 10 pounds. I tied a knot round it’s tail allowing us to bleed it out in the water behind the boat. As we were a few miles from our destination we left the fish on the back step so we could focus on arrival.

Soon after the catch we briefly spied dolphins in the water behind us. They didn’t approach the boat too closely but one did a flip out of the water to show off. We could see them splashing off into the distance behind us so perhaps they were hunting.

Given the time we left after lunch the most appropriate land fall was the bay west of the village of Daku. With Helen and John at the bow we threaded our way in between the reefs anchoring in very protected and calm waters.

Once we were safely anchored we turned our attention back to our mahi mahi. I lopped of the head and tail which we put into a bag along with some more of the Wahu of which we still have a fair amount. I cleaned the fish and cut it into four steaks. I filleted one side of one of the steaks leaving the other seven halves to Anne. John and I took the dinghy ashore navigating a shallow but vibrant reef to give sevusevu to the headman at Daku. We met the headman, Epi, on the beach. He took us to his home where Epi performed the ceremony. We learned we were the first boat here this year and felt really bad telling him we were only stopping for the night. We know how much the villagers like to hear from overseas people and it was a shame to have to stop by so briefly. I said that Helen and I would be coming back to Fiji next year and hopefully we could stop by then.

Back on Dignity the filleting and clean up was complete and the mahi mahi curry was progressing well. It turned out to be an excellent meal. Fresh deep water fish on the table in three hours. It doesn’t get much better.

We finished the evening off by watching a movie. Despite it being very engaging we all felt extremely tired and failed to reach the end of the movie. That will have to wait.

This evening we’ll be sailing north west to Musket Cove marina west of the main island. It will be an overnight sail so today we’ll be one of relaxation to prepare for the trip. We may move Dignity into the reef area in front of a nearby resort but nothing more taxing is planned for today.

In the afternoon, we had hoped to go diving. All the good spots are on the west coast of Ono. Siwa had gone out with the Osso Blancos and Jacksters in the morning. They’d had a rough time in the area where the winds had shifted to the SW. He had decided that an afternoon dive would be untenable so that idea was scratched too.

However, the day wasn’t a complete washout. The weather was definitely improving. Although we had a few patched of rain, we did have more than a few patches of sunshine which warmed us up. In the evening, a beach party with bonfires and dancing had been planned by the villagers. We all prepared some snacks for the villagers and headed ashore at 7pm. Due to increased winds, the bonfire idea had been abandoned. We were taken to one of the nearby huts where the villagers were all set up. As we approached they fired up their instruments and went into song. I was asked to share the message that when each song started we could select one of the locals to dance with. And that we did.

Grog (cava) was freely flowing. Somehow we decided we would sing them a song in return. However we could not find a song for which we all knew the words. In the end we picked Let It Be. I went back to the boat to pick up some beer to give to the villagers (for which they were very well chuffed) and to print out some lyrics. Our eventual rendition went pretty well I think.

The evening ended with the now familiar Isa Lei being sung. By the time we returned to the boat it was 11pm – very late for us cruisers.

Weather permitting we’re going to have another try for the mantas this morning. We need to make the trip to Musket Cove either this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon. The trade winds are beginning to reestablish themselves so either day should work well for us. The ocean swell is looking better, in terms of being lower, tomorrow and the direction should improve. With the winds also expected to be more easterly I’m expecting it to be warmer. So I’m plumping for a Sunday/Monday overnight passage. The only question now is whether to leave from here or to sail somewhere a little further west this afternoon to improve our wind angle and shorten the distance. We’ll see.

As the morning progressed the chop picked up but the weather showed no sign of improvement. On the first sign of queasiness aboard we set off heading for Naqara on the north side of Ono. The prediction was for several days of southerlies so this was our best bet. We set off and as Sea Mist and Imagine had much the same idea, off they went too.

Naqara had not been on our list of possible places to go but this is how it goes. The weather often dictates our actions and that can bring surprises. It wasn’t far to go so soon we were anchored in a tranquil bay, protected from the chop and swell.

Ashore we could see a few buildings but there were hints of more behind. It was now late morning. The three vessels agreed we should do sevusevu but decided to go a little later in the day.

Aboard dignity we rested and relaxed. I did a little handlining and caught a small grouper which was eventually released once all had seen it was possible to catch fish.

After lunch we all (including Sea Misters and Imagineers) all headed ashore to see if there was anyone with whom we could offer our respects via sevusevu.

It turned out there was village of 60 tucked behind the palm trees. We were greeted at the beach by one of the locals, Siwa, and taken to the community hut where we gave sevusevu to the chief via his head man. Here the ceremony was taken quite seriously with long speeches in Fijian followed by the formal welcome into the village in English.

We were then taken around the village by Siwa. The real highlight was visiting the school for the 6-12 year olds. 60% of the students were from Naqara and the remainder from the next village having to board each week. Some of the children were taking a maths exam so we quietly left them to it. In another block the teachers organised the children to give us a presentation. We all shared our names and backgrounds with the children and each of them, in turned, shared theirs. Some were bold, many were nervous. It was all good character building. Then the children sang two songs for us which was a wonderful surprise.

For their efforts Anne handed out the sweeties which were welcomed. We said our goodbyes and headed back to the beach. Along the way we made arrangements for the next day, at least the morning. We have a hike planned to the cell phone tower at the top of the hill. In the afternoon we may go to see the mantas.

Back at the beach the locals were collecting coconuts for us. One chap was up the tree tossing fresh ones down and others were cutting the tops off and giving them us to drink. We’ve not had this done since Tonga so this was all a nice surprise too.

Soon we were off back to our boats. On the beach we met the Jacksters and Ossa Blancos who had just arrived with the same need to shelter from the southerlies. It was nice to greet them again. We’ll be meeting up soon.

Back on the boat Anne and John tried out some fishing. John almost landed an octopus but Anne did well catching three fish with the fishing line. Four if you count the rock fish she hauled in which looked remarkably like a lump of coral.

As the sun was setting I took Anne ashore to give the fish she’d caught the last fisherman to go ashore. The fisherman appeared very pleased with the extra fish as he didn’t have too many himself.

We had a quiet dinner aboard followed by cards which didn’t last very long due to tiredness.

The new day has started with better weather. The water is very calm. The skies are a little cloudy which is perfect for our walk. Should be a good one.

The winds did pick up coming from more or less right behind us. We had the headsail out for a while to get a bit more speed while we assessed how much the wind may strengthen. It didn’t get any stronger so we furled Helen’s favourite sail, the Code Zero. That allowed us to shut the generator off but we still used the electrics to make a half decent speed south. Then we were overtaken by some very wet weather with very variable winds so we furled the Code Zero and went back to motoring. By the time the squally weather left us we were close to the pass through the reef so we only used the headsail to carry on to our destination.

The best surprise of the day was to hear Sea Mist on the VHF hailing Jackster (but not getting through). We were soon in contact with each other and soon realized we were heading for exactly the same spot. Not only that, Imagine were not far behind. It didn’t take long before we’d agreed a pot luck aboard Dignity that evening.

Needing protection for the evening against the continued northerlies we had all chosen the southerly side of Buliya to anchor and there we did.

We heard later from Jackster who were also heading this way but hadn’t the time to make it to Buliya before the light dropped.

John and Stuart had already been ashore for sevusevu so we all piled into the Dinghy shortly after arrival to head ashore to offer our sevusevu. We were taken to the village elders by a big chap called Bill (we learned later there was someone else called Big Bill) who were sitting in a house quaffing cava. They accepted our sevusevu with much formality. I got the feeling they were more into something else, perhaps the cava, but maybe some discussion so our treatment was brief. We told about the mantas they can take us to for which they charge a fee. It’s a little unusual compared to our recent experiences but we can’t deny people a chance of an income. We said if the weather permitted we’d like to see them.

Bill then took us round the village. We were surrounded by about 10 small children eager for the small sweets I’d brought. They held our hands and swung from our arms when we let them. We had to wait out some rain before returning to the dinghy. Kidding around I offered the last round of sweeties to them if they heaved the dinghy into the water. Surprising all of us they managed it. I do like to encourage a good work ethic and they earned it.

By 6 O’Clock we had everyone aboard for a very jolly evening. Except for bumping into Sheila in Savasavu once, we hadn’t seen the Sea Mists or Imagines since New Zealand so it was great to catch up – especially to hear first hand Imagine’s harrowing experience getting to Fiji.

By cruisers midnight we were all pooped and retired to our various vessels.

Overnight the winds have reversed and the anchorage is getting bumpy. The weather is not promising for today. The obvious thing to do is to head over to Ono and take protection on the north side. I think this is where Jackster is. We’ll take a view on whether or not to do the mantas today in poor light or try for later.