It must be impossible for any reader of this blog to miss the fact that a big part of cruising are the fellow cruisers you meet. I, like many others, read other blogs prior to setting off as part of my research so I knew this would happen but didn’t fully appreciate how different this relationship forming would be to my normal life. And I’m not just talking about the sheer number of sundowners imbibed, even though this is a lot of fun in of itself.<\/p>\n
I’ve often thought about why these relationships are so different and as ever I have come up with a number of factors :<\/p>\n
There is a phrase ‘Your friends are not the people you like the most, they are simply the ones that got their first.<\/em>‘ \u00a0It is an interesting observation and it sort of applies to land life. \u00a0I don’t think I was ever concious of this while on land but I believe we had developed behaviours which recognised this. \u00a0Particularly considering how busy we all are on land, we develop this whole layered approach to relationship forming because once let into our personal space it’s difficult (and often simply not desirable) to let go of people. \u00a0This is very much driven by the fact that our neighbours at home stay where they are, the people at work are usually there the next day as are the folks in our clubs, groups, etc.<\/p>\n While cruising it is the exact opposite. \u00a0You may never meet your current neighbour again. \u00a0There is therefore very little downside in opening up with folks you meet.<\/p>\n I discovered the ‘social layers’ we acquired on land made us all less interesting as well as less approachable. \u00a0Stripped of these layers you really find out about each other quite quickly and discover and develop friendships that may never have been previously possible.<\/p>\n Then there’s the people you meet. Anyone who chooses to set off across the seas with nothing between them and the depths bar a thin piece of wood, plastic, metal or perhaps banana leaf is going to be a little different from the typical person you get to know ashore. I’ve often felt we all have something extra going on as well as something missing. Some of the younger folks who crossed the Pacific on a shoestring have an incredible spirit. The ‘retirees’ have all lead fascinating lives to reach the point where cruising is possible. The ‘kid boats’, ie those with home schooled children aboard, are simply amazing. It goes on. We are all ‘missing’ something that holds us to one spot which allows us to face the challenges of adventure. To a certain extent this is true of anyone you meet in life but these qualities are often harder to reveal in those ‘stuck’ ashore.<\/p>\n Then of course there is the shared experience. We are all out there facing the elements, the thrills, the challenges, the fears together. We help each other out. We support each other. We share notes on where we’ve been and where we’re going. We have our sundowners. We share the moments we have together.<\/p>\n The cruising life allows you to get very close to a lot of people. You develop friendships that are incredibly special.<\/p>\n All of the above became amplified during our Pacific crossing. Perhaps, by then, we had matured as cruisers. A lot of it, I think, is that those mad enough to cross the Pacific are a special subset of a special subset of people.<\/p>\n