Goodbye Dad

Yesterday we said goodbye to my Dad. After battling lung cancer for the last few years, he finally succumbed to the disease earlier this week.

He hung on to see through the final events that mattered to him in his life. His move into their cottage, my sister’s family move into their (Mum & Dad’s) old home, my sister’s 50th and seeing the family here in South Africa, complete with a new generation and a new betrothal.

We believe he enjoyed his last day. He watched the Grand Prix, a couple of episodes of ‘Allo ‘Allo which both he and Mum loved. We were able to show him panoramic photos of what Sue had managed to do with their old kitchen.

We had a commemoration and celebration ceremony at his old home led by a very close family friend, Father Larry Kaufman. Per the families wishes, it was non-religious, very human service. My brother-in-law introduced Larry to the close friends invited. Larry then took us through a formal commemoration of Dad’s life before lighting a candle to represent my father’s life. Then, the seven family members there, my mother, my sister, Max, Jay, Sarah, Helen then myself took turns to pass the flame from my father’s candle to another one of seven representing each of us before we each read our own eulogy. Very apt and very emotional.

We had one further euolgy from Barbara Bull, the families doctor and very close friend before Larry summarized and transitioned the formal ceremony into the celebration by toasting his memory and inviting everyone to tuck in.

I don’t know if my Dad planned it this way but he picked the perfect moment to move on. He maximized his time with us and left before Jay’s daughters marriage next week and our own planned departure tomorrow. It was so heartening to be there and to see all the support from their friends and to know Mum will be surrounded by a cadre who will provide her an active life. In fact, Mum is transitioning so well, perhaps it is them that will need the support as she really is ready to move on.

Hopefully this caps the spectre that has been hovering over this family for the last year, in all it’s forms. Full speed ahead.