Born 28th June 1964 – Died 14th August 2013
Author: helen
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Remember, Remember the 28th of September
On Saturday at about 2.00 pm. I looked around my kitchen diner and out onto my garden and thought this is amazing. The marquee was up, the tables and chairs all laid out, the food overflowing and beautifully displayed, the music system all set up and the walls covered with tributes and messages for Steve. It was warm and the sun even peeped out. Members of my family had been around for hours, working away and getting everything prepared for the celebration. There were lots of noises, talks and laughter as we worked. I remembered how much Steve use to love these family get together.
Our son Ben and his new wife Amy had arrived that morning from New York and Steve’s mother and sister a few days before from South Africa, so all the immediate family were here.
Before Steve died we had talked about funerals and he was very clear about what he didn’t want and wanted. He wanted a non-religious Celebration of Life and I remember him mentioning that the Humanist Association had good ideas for celebrations. While looking through Steve’s laptop, I notice that he had booked marked The British Humanist Association and there was a page of local celebrants. I contacted a couple of them and was fortunate to find one free for the 28th of September.
With the help our celebrant Ray, I was able to structure a ceremony for Steve.
The ceremony started with everyone gathering and sitting down to “Your Song” by Elton John, which was mine and Steve’s song and significant to a particular memorable occasion which is briefly recounted by Ben in his speech.
Ray then welcomed everyone, giving a short introduction and a brief biography of Steve
Steve’s sons Ben, Sam and John each recounted memories of their dad (which I will publish in the next blog.)
Steve’s mother Norma and sister Sue then gave their amusing account of Steve in his youth
Ray read out a couple of tributes from the many many tributes sent by friends across the seas.
Ray then recounted some of my memories.
We had about 30-40 seconds of silence in quiet reflection
We all joined in as Sam sung and played on the piano “Imagine” by John Lennon
Ray gave the closing words
To the music: “Dignity” by Deacon Blue, I planted Steve’s apple tree, pouring his ashes with the dirt, joined by his Ben, Sam and John.
Finally we released 49 biodegradable balloons into the sky. Each of the balloon released by a friend or member of the family. One for each year of Steve’s life. The ones that Ben, Amy, Sam, John, Norma, Sue and myself released had a small amount of his ash in it.
Then we celebrated with plenty of food and drinks. It was a lovely ceremony and day. Steve would have approved.
I know I said, I would write a tribute to Steve but I have just not found words good enough to do him and my feelings justice. Maybe in the future after I have read through his blogs, I will write a book on our adventures and that will be a tribute to him.
All I can say for now is that he was the best husband, the best father, my best friend and my best love.
Steve, I love you and miss you desperately.
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Ben and Amy’s Wedding
I’ve had some requests for photos of Ben and Amy’s wedding. I’m not sure how Steve use to connect to his photo album so here a just few photos which I’ve been able to insert onto the page.
The wedding was wonderful and I was so happy to have been able to be there. The weather could not have been more perfect. The ceremony was moving, emotional and joyful. The bride was so beautiful and the groom actually looked smart. The reception was certainly lively and great fun. Steve would have loved it.
So here some highlights of the day. The cake was made by the bridesmaid with the short black dress.
I’m wearing a Burmese costume which my Burmese mother use wear for special occasions.
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A Celebration of Steve’s Life
Dear family, friends, cruisers and blog readers.
Thank you so much for all your many messages and kind words to me. It has been quite overwhelming but a real comfort too. I have always know what an amazing man Steve was but to know that so many of you felt the same was wonderful.Today Steve will be cremated. There will be no viewing, service or ceremony today as requested by him. We will just collect his ashes. Steve’s wish was to have a really good celebration of his life and a memorial party. I have penciled this in for 28th September 2013.
My wish is to hold the celebration in the new house which Steve was so looking forward to moving into. I will be completing and moving into the new house on 12th September. This will give me time to plan and arrange something special. With barely any furniture in the house I’m hoping there will be enough room for everyone. If anyone would like to send a short reminiscent, tribute, message or photos for the ceremony please email it to SteverSouthwood@gmail.com. I would like to make some sort of display for the day.
Tomorrow I fly to America for our son Ben and Amy’s wedding which is this coming Saturday. After the sadness of this week I am looking forward to this very happy occasion. I am planning to take some of Steve’s ashes and scatter it in New York harbour. We learnt to sail there and Steve loved sailing past the wonderful NY cityscape and typical of him, dealing with all the challenges of sailing in such a busy harbour.
A week after the wedding, my son John is flying to Australia to visit with Ella and my granddaughter Bao. John plans to take some of Steve’s ashes too. He will have a small celebration there and scatter the ashes in the Brisbane bay area where Steve and I had our last sail on Dignity. Steve would love the fact that he’s still travelling around the world.
Not long ago, Steve renewed the subscription to this blog for another two years. Therefore this site will stay open for at least this time so that people can read Steve’s words and share in the adventure we had together.
After the celebration of Steve’s life, I will write one more blog. A tribute to my very very very much loved and wonderful husband.
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Sailing away with Dignity
This is so hard to write. My wonderful Steve died this afternoon.
Everything happened so fast. The day after I wrote the last blog, Steve’s high temperature continued to worsen. He started becoming more confused and losing his coordination. Each day he dramatically worsen. Yesterday morning when I arrived at the hospital, Steve was barely conscious and Professor Linch was waiting to talk to me. He basically said that none of the treatment Steve was on was working and he felt it best to withdraw all treatment and make him as comfortable a possible. I knew then that Steve had lost his fight with lymphoma.
I reluctantly called our son Ben in New York who immediately booked a flight for himself, his fiancee Amy and his brother Sam (who had only just arrived in the States from Australia the previous day).
I spent the night with Steve who stayed comfortable and sleeping peacefully. I asked him many times to hang on as Ben and Sam were on their way to see him. The nurses were great, looking after him with care and always maintaining his dignity.
Ben, Amy and Sam arrived at the hospital soon after 10 am this morning and with their older brother John, were able to spend the last two hours with their Dad before he died. I am sure Steve hung on to have this time with his boys and me before he sailed away from this life.
We are all devastated.