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by steve, on April 28th, 2013 ( UK) Tuesday and Wednesday were stay at home days playing catch with all the stuff we let overtake us during our ‘Bao’ period. This included my obeying Helen’s demands (actually, she’s doing most of the work) to do some ‘minor’ kitchen remodeling in the flat.
We continue to run into ‘having been away for years’ issues. The big one this week was car insurance. We ended up going through an ex-pat insurance specialist which should get our no-claims back on the rails within a year. In retrospect I am left feeling a little worried as the covernote doesn’t reflect the conversation we had. I called them back and the broker I used has been off sick since. Hopefully this is something we can resolve but it’s been a pain and remains one for now.
On Thursday we had our first serious run at looking at a possible future home / home town. Our target was Great Missenden and, by extension, the neighbouring village of Prestwood. We had two properties we wanted to see, one in each area. The first, in Prestwood, was recently renovated in front of the TV cameras. An interesting back story but when we looked closely, the workmanship was not at the level we’d expect for a modern renovation. On the plus side it is right in the heart of the village but that leads to the another downside in that the village is a bit too small. Small is ok and even being out of the way is not completely written off but this house simply didn’t sing out to us.
We had a good walk around Great Missenden (including a pub lunch) which has a lot more character. We could more easily visualize ourselves living there. There are a lot more worries there about the building of a nearby high speed rail link (HS2) which may or may not be a good thing for potential buyers.
The property we wanted to visit turned out to have been sold that morning so we went to see another one in an over 55’s residence very close to town. (One of us is over 55 but I’m too much of a gentleman to point out who she is). It turned out a second home in the complex was up for sale, by the manager. He saw us walking around, caught our attention, and showed us around this second home. We could much more easily see ourselves in the property and the gardens were wonderfully kept. It had character, being a farmhouse conversion, and was ideally located. But the complex had the feel of an old peoples’ home (without frail care) and I, representing a younger demographic so to speak, am not ready for it. It’s not off the list but as it is early days, we have plenty more places to look.
On Friday I visited Amersham hospital to have my knees X-Ray’d. Won’t know results for a couple of weeks so nothing further to say. Being near a big Tesco’s, Helen was drawn in as if on an invisible stiff bungee leaving me to fathom out the new fangled recycling machine.
In the evening we visited our old Karate friends (Rob and Erin). Rob has recently won his own battle with his prostate so we had much to talk about, including, sadly, a mutual friend who was not so lucky. Being good friends we have seen each other from time to time since we left the UK but being back in their home with the conversation (ok – and the beer and wine) freely flowing the thirteen and a half years that have since passed melted away. Good times.
In the morning, Stanley, their newish dog took us all out for a walk to rid those of us suffering from hangovers of those same hang overs. It worked. During our worked we experienced the full lash of Blighty April weather experience sun, rain, hail, sleet and finally a smattering of snow. Six miles of (starting dry, ending up mud) following the dog left us feeling quite exhausted.
Back in the flat we spent the afternoon with John. He helped us put up another kitchen cabinet (flat pack assembled earlier in the day) and chatted to Helen while I had an early afternoon snooze after the morning’s dog and mud fencing.
Today we’re going to watch Iron Man 3 at the cinema with a detour on the way to the hardware store to satisfy Helen’s lust for cabinet doors, handles and shelves. We will of course be having some fun tonight. With the doors. What were you thinking?
by steve, on April 23rd, 2013 ( UK) Monday was a big day. We had a day trip to London where we had three very different rendezvous.
We took the underground line into central London playing catch up on the use of things like ‘Oyster’ cards to simplify and reduce the cost of travel. We keep running into things which everyone has been using for years but are essentially new for us. Our experience so far is that people are very helpful to fill us in when we tell them we’ve been away for 14 years.
Our first meeting was with a firm specializing in UK/US hybrids like ourselves who need to work through and manage the risks/potential pitfalls/opportunities of their dual obligations. There are plenty of pitfalls for the unwary and we feel we need the support of firm who specializes in such matters. The morning meeting was positive and both Helen and I agreed to take the next small steps to feel our way in.
We had two to three spare hours between this meeting and the one with Professor Linch scheduled for 3pm. We had a brief lunch over which we discussed our views on how the morning went before taking a long and winding walk to Euston. By this I mean we played inner London Ingress. This took us through the legal heart of London – the Temple area and the law courts. We walked pathways and gardens we never knew existed and even saw what we were sure was a Dan Brown tour still running near the Temple Church.
Even more importantly we diverted off the straight line far enough to reach Chinatown where Helen bought some hard to find ingredients for her renowned chili ‘boost’ and I snagged a trio of steamed buns which hit the spot.
We arrived at University College Hospital with plenty of time to spare which we ended up needing as it took us a while to find the right place to go. We knew we had to go to the top floor but the lifts (elevators) listed the top floor as ‘The Gardens’ and the floor below as hematology. Turned out the private hospital was cunningly unlisted and the floor we went to was the not so proactive NHS layer. By the time we had been sent around a few reception desks and even another building we finally found the right place. They were completely fine with the delay.
After filling in a registration form we were soon in the room with Professor Linch and his assistant to begin the second ‘period’ of responding to my lymphoma, ie. monitoring and assessment. We talked through the history of my disease, my residual symptoms from the treatment and he gave me an examination. All appeared well and as normal as can be expected.
He has decided that due to the masking effects of the radiotherapy, it is better to wait until June for the next MRI. Based on what we’ve learned, particularly with the experience of the last MRI, we support this decision. Between now and then, any response will have to be based on symptoms reappearing. We were assured we have more or less instant access to Prof Linch at any time which was very reassuring. He also said that were we to need to fall back to the NHS, things would more or less run the same way but contact would be more likely with his team rather than with him directly and not as flexible. He also confirmed our understanding that the first two years post CR are the highest risk of relapse with the five year milestone representing the time when one can really feel in the clear. He did caution, though, that nothing can ever be 100%. But we knew that.
He felt that during the next two months, the biopsies taken in Australia can be bought to the UK (I thought they had been) and that examining those and the 5/6 month post CR MRI he’ll be in a position to at least shoot from the hip in terms of prognosis. He confirmed that while CNS lymphoma is merely rare, having the angiocentric T-Cell variety puts us in the realm of there being little data of similar cases to build a more formal prognosis.
So the result of yesterday’s first contact is that there was no cause for immediate alarm and a need to wait for more information. The confirmation that we have anytime and more or less immediate access to the top man was very reassuring.
While we had hoped to be a little more informed after this first visit, we both felt what we did learn was bang on what expected of this first contact.
Our third rendezvous was with Sam’s Godfather, Dick, who has been an acquaintance / family friend since my teenage years. We last met up with him early last year when we were in the UK and shared a very pleasant Xmas Day with him, his wife and three children in NZ at the end of 2010. He showed how his business was architecturally evolving (involving climbing out of a window and standing on the roof for the view of London) followed by a trip to a nearby pub for drinks and a meal.
After that it was a two hour plus trip back home. We were quite exhausted after the day’s efforts but very content. Sleep overcame us rapidly.
by steve, on April 22nd, 2013 ( UK) We’ve just said goodbye to Bao. Very sad really but we hope the eddies and currents of life will bring us all back together sometime soon. We’ll see. Since the last blog, we’ve been to London a couple of times and had Bao over for a couple of nights. For now, a few pics of Bao for our memories.
The day with nephew Simon was both a pleasure and a success. We now have a nearly new Ford Focus complete with space age instrumentation / controls (at least to us boaties who’ve been away from it all for a while). Even Helen, who normally resists the driving seat, enjoyed her role bring the car home and to the car hire depot to get rid of our awful lilac coloured hire car (some might say cute, but I couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t).
Bao has a fetish for Ikea cuddly rats so today’s visit to London included a trip to Ikea for a photo shoot. Back home, finding ourselves assembling flat pack furniture it finally came home we’re back on land.
Now onto the next phase of being on land. Big day tomorrow.
by steve, on April 17th, 2013 ( UK) A few more things have been ordered and delivered to make life comfortable here in our flat. We now have a washing machine, TV and PVR (so we don’t get locked into a timetable). Some smaller items (like drying stands, bathroom cabinets, etc.) are also in and installed. In amongst all this we’ve had the pleasure of Bao’s company for a couple of days. A lot less gets done when she’s around but that doesn’t matter at all. We have a few pics and video but we’ll put them together next week once she heads off to Australia. We also were visited by another of Helen’s sisters which was a pleasure.
I’ve had a couple of visits to the local GPs. One was to have my bite looked at. I was definitely infected. Good old penicillin was prescribed and it’s done a lot of good. The doctor also accepted the referral from the specialist in South Africa for my shoulder ‘impingement’ and agreed to arrange a physio. This morning, Helen and I had an extended visit with our assigned GP to fill him in on the past year, the arrangements we’ve already made here in the UK, and other issues (like my knees which are beginning to cause trouble). He agreed the approach we’d take to get on Prof. Linch’s books and ordered a referral letter which will connect them up and get the communications going. He also ordered X-Rays for my knees to see if anything is developing. Progress of a sorts. I think establishing the lines of communication was the biggest result as that can only help later on.
Helen and I also met up with the local ‘chapter’ of the Lymphoma Association at a nearby garden center restaurant. We met a number of carers and patients at various stages of experience from wait and see, to pre-chemo, to many year post remission. As ever, amongst our little group of fellow experiencees (my new word) the get together was jovial and upbeat and we met some interesting people. We didn’t get to spend time with nearly everyone and are looking forward to meeting the group again.
We are marching through the admin. Whole rafts of organisations being contacted to register our change of domicality / address / phone numbers, etc. Particularly with the financial institutions, each has a different way to accomplish this so it’s a bit of a chore tracking all the various streams of activity. A little way into this I realized we’ll be doing it all again by year end so I back tracked and started making detailed records of everything I was doing so it will be a lot easier next time. One thing we’ve learned, and got pretty annoyed about, is the shift towards premium rate phone numbers for all customer support here in the guise of free phone numbers. It seems everyone is doing it. After spending years in so many different countries, we’ve arrived back to what seems to be a rip off culture. Maybe it’s just a part of land life that’s evolved in our absence that we’re just going to learn how to accommodate. And don’t get me onto how we’ve been scammed by the car hire company.
Looking ahead. More family visits. Bao again tomorrow and the last of Helen’s sisters to meet. Nephew Simon is flying down from Edinburgh to help us buy a car. Next Monday is a big day as it is our first appointment with Prof. Linch to continue my Lymphoma care and, more importantly, begin to advance our understanding of prospects which in turn will feed into our other streams of thought.
We have not yet looked at other houses but while out and about we’ve been taking side trips to get superficial looks at some of the nearby towns and villages. Immediate settlement and family have taken priority for the last week and continue to do so. I’m guessing that sometime next week we’ll be in a position to begin looking at individual houses and looking at towns in detail.
by steve, on April 12th, 2013 ( UK) Our flight from Cape Town was delayed a couple of hours which was a good thing really as those two hours were taken away from the five hours we had schedule to wait in the Doha departure lounge between planes. We arrived more or less on time to the usual delight of the queues at Heathrow to get out.
We ran into unexpected challenges at the car hire company as we’ve been away so long we didn’t show up on the UK credit checking system (so couldn’t use our UK credit card to pay) and our US credit card couldn’t be accepted (at first) because we couldn’t prove we had flights booked to the US (which we don’t have of course). It’s all part of the tightening of the credit rules here but it’s frustrating to find ourselves, yet again, a non-entity in a civilized country. After an hour and a £1,000 deposit we had our car.
We drove to Helen’s sister’s (Betty) home where we were warmly welcomed by her and John (who had turned up to welcome us) and stayed the next two nights. Yesterday Helen’s elder sister, Joanna, visited – it was great to see her too.
Since we arrived we’ve been ‘rebooting’ ourselves slowly back into the UK. We’ve taken over our one bedroom rental property in Chesham and are staying there for the next few months while we work everything out. We’ve got a mobile phone number, internet, a TV ordered and food in the fridge. Helen has unpacked a lot of our stuff.
I’ve been to see the doctor as sometime in South Africa my cheek (the face that is) was bitten a few times by an insect and has since become infected. I’m now on antibiotics but have an ugly scab and swelling. We need to take pictures for our driving licences and I’m reluctant to get this done until the swelling has receded and we can apply makeup to hide the scabs. Yach. The doctor also accepted the referral written by the South African specialist for a physio for my shoulder. So this will be set up on the NHS. Yay. As this was a rushed visit it wasn’t with our assigned doctor so another appointment is booked to see him so he can learn my full history.
Looking ahead our goal is to settle here in the UK. Unless I go back to work for a big business, I am uninsurable (health wise) in the US and my current plan only allows us to be covered for six months in the year. If the coin toss on my future lands badly then Helen will need to be near her family.
There are three major streams of thought that are all interrelated that will play out and mutually evolve over the next few months.
First is my full engagement with the health system here in the UK. This gets into gear on the 24th of this month when we visit Prof David Linch who is now in charge of my health with respect to my lymphoma. What transpires on that front and what we learn will affect our decisions elsewhere.
Second is work. We don’t want to sit at home watching the TV so we both imagine some form of outside commitment. This includes the possibility of going back to work. All we’re sure about at this point is we don’t want to make any immediate commitments and when we do we want a lot of flexibility as we still want travel and experience the world, even if we can’t do it on Dignity.
Third is establishing a home. Where, what and how much will be influenced by the other streams as they will be influenced by this one. We can’t put these in any particular order as there is no natural sequence. We just have to let our thinking evolve as we go.
So that means we visit the doctors, we talk about prospects, I have my scans, we evolve with the results. We visit friends, we network for work ideas, we wait for the right thing. We visit towns and house prospects around us, we learn more about the area, we research, we get out and about. Along the way we will settle back into the land life, discover our new needs and hopefully and final settle into a new home by the end of the year.
The things we buy now we try and fit in with our possible futures. For instance, the TV we ordered will do well in our future bedroom, even if not a perfect fit for the flat living room. The first car we will buy will be one fit for a couple touring the UK (and possibly Europe) but be OK for me to commute in.
It’s all kind of fun but there’s a lot of work to do.
In the short term we hope to spend some time with Bao. She’s been a bit unwell recently but we expect to see her later today. We’ve seen video of her and she’s now walking so we’re looking forward to seeing how she’s change since we saw her in South Africa.
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